A week or two back I was on my way to Camden to meet a friend. My friend had told me to meet them in Belsize Park but when I reached there they asked if I could walk down to Camden (ermmm this was at least a 25 minute walk but in fairness I could have hoped on a bus.) Never the less, I'm walking down this road and I am absolutely busting for a wee, this pain was unbearable. So imagine it's around midnight now and I'm walking down this loooooong road, there's drunken punters appearing from crevices and police and ambulances zooming past. The houses look posh and I could imagine there are CCTV's all other the place, so no matter how many times I try, I can't find a little dark place to wee :(
I get to Chalk Farm and it basically feels like I'm on the Ibiza strip except it's dirtier and more morbid. In my sober or shall we say on the verge of tipsy state I keep on walking along bemused at all this pissheads, I debate whether to go into a little bar (packed outside) and The Bar Fly but I get scared that it's going to be bate that I'm not hear for a drink but to use the lav. Moving onto the good stuff: I see this rasta man chatting over confidently to this lady that is very much the worse for wear and laugh to myself but a few minutes later there he is again, this time he's skating along side me and telling me that he "senses my aura" and that he likes me "positive vibes." Well me being ever the optimist and clearly on the tipsy side am like "aaahhhh omg, can you really tell this because I think I am quite a positive person." The rasta who introduces himself as the Bush Doctor continues to massage my ego whilst I abruptly interrupt to apologise and admit that as much as he is a stranger to me, I'd really like to find somewhere to wee.
Like you do this guy leads me to a quite street where him still in his rollerskates (yeah proper random, he told me he was skating at a club and he's well into his 40's) we have a wee together. The actual madness of that!! Thankfully I covered myself up and I ensured he faced the other way but I was a bit worried he would reveal himself to me. Well as soon as I was finished I pipped up that I really had to meet my friend and that I was late so needed to dash. Being a nice person, he persuades me to sit and wait for him to change back into his wheel- less shoes, where then he just starts massaging my shoulders. It's only now that my *freak alert* buzzer comes into affect. I get up and tell him I am leaving but give in that he can keep talking to me if he has to. So we power walk to meet my friend but there is no sign of them, all along the way the Bush Doctor is yelling at people saying he is Jesus, so I gathered the notion that he's quite the weirdo in Camden. As I waited for my mate a bit more the Bush Doctor took me to the local offie that officially shouldn't serve booze but with BD's say so didn't mind giving me some cans of lager.
By now it's about 1:30am and my soberness is becoming stronger, I presume my mates phone is dead and they've got pissed off waiting for me. I sense even more that I should escape this man so make a dash for it into a crowded bus stop, I clamber onto a bus and wait for the bus to fill up. I peer out the window and I see the scary Bush Doctors glaring eyes... I pray he doesn't get on after me and thankfully he doesn't.
Verdict: Never befriend a rasta man in his 40's wearing rollerskates on a night out, that's already been pestering drunk females.
Lesson probably not learnt.
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